


Ain’t No Lie (I’m Bi Bi Bi)

by xslytherclawx



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Bisexual Jake Peralta, Coming Out, Gen, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Overly Invested Straight Allies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-11
Updated: 2019-10-11
Packaged: 2020-10-28 09:30:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20776349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xslytherclawx/pseuds/xslytherclawx
Summary: It all starts, as it often does, with an invitation from Charles.First Annual Boyle PRIDE Party!Saturday, June 29, 2019 at 4pm





	Ain’t No Lie (I’m Bi Bi Bi)

**Author's Note:**

> happy national coming out day! (it technically already is where i am!) this has been in the works since uhh may? but i didn't finish it on time, so here we are!  
this does follow season six, so even though the finale aired like six months ago, spoilers for that?

It all starts, as it often does, with an invitation from Charles. Because it’s Charles, the invitation is on A6 rainbow cardstock, in matching rainbow envelopes. Jake thinks it’s a little over the top, but Charles just looks so  _ happy _ passing them out, so he lets it slide as he opens the envelope.

**First Annual Boyle PRIDE Party!**

Jake glances over to Charles, who is handing Terry his invitation, and frowns. He’s pretty sure Charles is straight, and he doesn’t have any problem with him hosting a gay pride party if he is, but what if he’s been so self-centred this whole time and Charles is actually bi? But then he overhears Charles oversharing again, and – yeah, no; Jake  _ definitely _ would have noticed if Charles were bi. Charles isn’t the kind of person who wouldn’t talk about the guys he slept with, too. Never mind. That was a stupid idea.

**Saturday, June 29, 2019 at 4pm**

**Allies welcome!**

**Costumes encouraged!**

**Themed food and drinks will be provided!**

From anyone else, Jake would assume “themed food” for a Pride party to be rainbow-coloured cupcakes and cookies, but – this is  _ Charles. _ He’s kind of a little afraid of what food is actually going to be served at this party, but he knows better by now than to ask. Worst case scenario, he and Amy can sneak away for a few minutes to get a hot dog, or something. Probably.

“Boyle, why are you having a gay pride party?” Rosa asks when Charles hands her her invitation.

“What, like I need a reason?” Charles asks. 

Rosa raises one single eyebrow, and Charles immediately backtracks, “Genevieve and I want to make sure that Nikolaj knows that we love and accept him no matter what.”

“You couldn’t just…  _ tell _ him?” Amy asks.

Rosa gives Charles a long look that even Jake can’t read. “I think that’s dope,” she says. “I’ll be there.”

Jake didn’t entirely expect that, but he can’t say he’s terribly surprised. And it  _ is _ kind of sweet. “The food’s going to be like, actual food, right?” Jake asks.

“Of  _ course _ it’s going to be actual food; who do you take me for?”

Right. So... hot dogs!

* * *

Jake really wishes Charles hadn’t invited Hitchcock and Scully. They’re as gross as usual, and really, shouldn’t Charles have known better? He shares a look with Rosa (at least, he thinks they’re thinking the same thing – it’s Rosa; who knows for sure), and when Hitchcock goes into an overly personal story, Jake decides that enough is enough. 

“Anyway,” he says very loudly, “Charles! Where are these themed drinks?”

Charles looks more than a little ridiculous in his all-rainbow costume, though Jake knows it’s probably absurdly expensive or weird or gross or possibly all three.

“Oh!” Charles says, and, really, Jake is expecting rainbow Jell-O shots or something. That’s what he’d serve if he ever had a pride party. Not that he would. (That’s  _ way _ too much effort). But still. Maybe that’s a mistake; it is, after all,  _ Charles’s _ party. “I’ve hired a bartender with a carefully curated drink list – he’s in the kitchen. Oh no!” Charles says. “I should have had him set everything up in the  _ living room!” _

“I’m sure the kitchen’s fine,” Jake says. It gives him an excuse to get away from Hitchcock and Scully, anyway. He goes into the kitchen, sees someone who can only be the bartender in a very ridiculous getup, and is sorely disappointed (but not very surprised) at the lack of Jell-O shots. There is, surprisingly, beer, so Jake gets one of those.

Amy bursts into the kitchen. “Okay,  _ why _ did Charles invite Hitchcock and Scully?”

Jake feels a little bad for abandoning her, but he’s too glad to be away from Hitchcock and Scully to really mean it. “I’d offer you a Jell-O shot, but it’s Charles so… vodka?”

“Ugh, god, please.” She takes the cup from the bartender eagerly and downs it in one go.

Jake knows better than to tell Amy to pace herself, so he doesn’t. “Charles probably felt like he needed to be ‘inclusive’ or whatever,” he says instead, complete with air quotes. “I don’t get how that applies to Hitchcock and Scully, though.” An idea occurs to him; something gruesome and sexual, and he shuts that thought down as soon as he realises he’s having it.

“Captain Holt hasn’t even shown up yet. I mean…”

“I know,” Jake says. But then everything has been a little bit more difficult than usual with Holt’s new  _ position. _

“Maybe we should go back out there?” Amy suggests, and Jake knows she’s right, but god, he really doesn’t want to deal with Hitchcock and Scully.

“I just don’t know why Charles invited them,” he says, but he lets Amy lead him back out to the living room. There’s only one open seat, so he does the only thing he can think to: he lets Amy sit in the armchair, while he sits on the arm (and tries to make it look cool).

The parade isn’t until the next day, but somehow Charles has found livestreams of a dozen other pride parades all over the world, which Jake thinks is kind of excessive. Captain Holt shows up and apologises for his late arrival with some scathing remark about Wuntch, and Jake comments on his rainbow lapel pin, “You didn’t have to get all dressed up for the occasion.”

“The invitation said to come in costume, but you know I would never entertain such foolishness.”

“Of course not, sir,” Jake says, though he’d pay good money (get back into  _ crippling debt, _ if he’s honest) to see Holt in a gay pride-themed costume. “Personally, I think the pin is a little over the top.”

“Shut  _ up,” _ Amy hisses in his ear. “I think the pin is  _ perfect, _ sir.” Jake is, for the most part, surprised that Amy managed not to call him  _ Captain. _

“Thank you, Sergeant Santiago,” Holt says. 

Charles is there before anyone can say anything else. “Captain Holt! I’m so glad you could make it! I love the pin! Very festive!”

“Thank you, Detective Boyle.”

“Of course, Captain. And now that you’re here, I’d like to make a toast,” Charles says, because of course it’s Charles who wants to make a toast right after Holt walks in the door. Jake kind of has a bad feeling about this, but he ignores it.

“This past year has put us all through a lot. I mean… Gina left the precinct, Terry passed the Lieutenant’s Exam, we exposed a corrupt commissioner – I mean, how many people can say they did  _ that?  _ – and I’m so grateful to have shared this year with all of you. I know we’re all very lucky to be in such a tolerant precinct,” Charles says. “And I’d like to take this opportunity to personally thank Captain Holt and Rosa for being true to themselves even though it hasn’t always been easy.”

Terry speaks up then. “I’d  _ also  _ like to thank Rosa and Captain Holt for always taking the time to educate the rest of us so that we can be the best allies we can be. I know we’ve all said stupid things – but you’re always there to tell me or Jake or Charles when we’re out of line, and I really appreciate that.”

Wait, what? Jake is sure he definitely didn’t hear that right. “Uh – Lieutenant, why did you say  _ Jake?” _

“Are you saying you never say anything stupid?” Rosa asks.

“Of course not; I say stupid shit all the time,” Jake says. But not usually about sexuality. At least not when it comes to homophobia, or anything like that.

“I said  _ Jake _ because I we’re all straight people trying to be good allies.”

Jake feels like maybe he’s stepped into a parallel universe. “Uh? No?  _ What? _ Terry, why would you even think that?”

“So, what, are you saying you  _ don’t _ support the LGBTQ community?” Terry asks, and Jake could  _ swear _ they’ve been over this before. Like, multiple times.

“Uh, no, don’t be stupid; of course I care about LGBT people.” He sees Amy and Holt exchange a look, and, okay, at least they know, right? Right. Amy’s known for years and years, and Holt has, too. Jake definitely remembers telling both of them. “I  _ am _ LGBT people. I thought it was obvious; why the hell would you think I was  _ straight?” _

Terry looks uncomfortable, and Jake feels a little bad, but, honestly, what the  _ fuck, _ Terry? What about Jake Peralta seems  _ straight, _ when the word  _ bisexual _ is right there? “I guess I just didn’t want to assume.”

“Terry,” Jake says. “I’m pretty sure I’ve told  _ everyone _ about my childhood crush on Mario Lopez. His, uh, unfortunate recent remarks notwithstanding – it was the nineties, and he was A.C. Slater.”

“You know,” Charles says. “Jake, oh man, I had a  _ feeling _ you weren’t straight, but I didn’t want to say anything that might cause a crisis just in case  _ you _ didn’t realise it!”

“A.C. Slater could get it,” Rosa says.

“You really  _ do _ have a type, Jake,” Charles says.

Jake doesn’t reply, but he knows Charles is right. He just doesn’t want to admit it in front of the whole precinct. Besides, he and Amy are married, and exclusive, and everything. So. Checkmate, or whatever. “I just don’t see what the big deal is. I thought everyone knew. I mean –  _ Gina _ knows. I thought for sure she told everyone.”

“She didn’t tell me,” Terry says.

“Huh,” Jake says. He didn’t see that one coming. Could Gina actually keep a secret? Not that it was a secret. No; that was ridiculous. She probably just didn’t think it was interesting enough to tell everyone about. It didn’t involve her, anyway. “Like, but, really, did none of you see it?”

“You  _ did _ kind of jump at the chance to impress Dave Majors,” Amy says, like a fucking traitor.

“Hey,” Jake says. “That was  _ before _ I got to know him.”

“Or your crush on Brandon Bliss in high school,” Gina says, and where the fuck did she come from. “Honestly, everyone kinda just thought you were gay.”

“Where did you come from?” Jake asks.

“I was invited, you asshole,” Gina says, pushing her way onto the sofa.

“Not what I was asking, but okay,” Jake says. “The point is, yeah, I’m bi, and I don’t see why it’s such a big deal. It’s like – super obvious. What’s next, you’re all going to be surprised that I’m Jewish?”

“Of course not,” Terry says.

“Wait, Jake, you’re  _ Jewish?” _ Scully asks.

Jake can tell he’s making a face, because, really, he doesn’t want to know what Scully will do with that information. “Uh, yeah? Amy even invited my parents over for Passover – which was a  _ disaster, _ but I digress.”

“Passover’s  _ always _ a disaster,” Charles says, which like, yeah, Jake’s family’s Passovers are always a disaster, and Charles knows that because they’re best friends, but also he doesn’t know if Charles should just be  _ saying _ stuff like that, especially in front of Hitchcock and Scully.

“Your life is a disaster,” Gina says.

“Thanks, Gina.”

“You’re welcome,” Gina says. “Now, someone get me a drink.”

“Jake,” Charles says. “We should go to the parade tomorrow.”

“Uh, wouldn’t you rather spend Sunday with Genevieve and Nikolaj?” Jake asks, because it’s the only thing he can think of that won’t won’t make him sound like a massive dick.

“We were all going to go the parade anyway! But if you’re there… you know, Nikolaj could always use more positive role models who aren’t cisgender straight men!”

That is sort of touching, but Jake still looks to Amy for an excuse. But because Jake has married a traitor of the worst kind, Amy smiles and says, “We’d love to join you guys.”

“Oh, that’s great!” Charles says. “Isn’t that great, Nikolaj?” He corrals the boy over, and as much as Jake hates to admit it, Nikolaj still makes him a little uncomfortable; he’s really not sure how to deal with kids this age.

“Yeah!” Nikolaj agrees.

“But you know,” Charles says to Jake, dropping his voice, “If you ever feel like I’m being too straight… you can tell me.”

Jake rolls his eyes. “Charles, come on. We’ve been best friends for years. You know that’s not an issue. And of course I’ll go to the parade with you.” Even if it means going all the way to Manhattan and dealing with crowds of drunk tourists as a civilian.

“Good,” Charles says. “And, oh! Bi Visibility Day is coming up in a few months! We need to get together to do something special for you and Rosa!”

“You really don’t,” Rosa says.

“Don’t be ridiculous! Of course I do!”

Jake has a feeling that Charles probably would have done this regardless. “Maybe just a card? Or a Facebook post?”

“You’re thinking way too small, Jake,” Charles says. “But don’t worry; I’ll come up with something great!”

Jake knows he’s lucky, really. His friends love and support him, he has an amazing (beautiful, badass, brilliant, and super supportive) wife, and even his piece of shit dad has never actually minded that he was bi. But he didn’t want to make a big deal about this and – “Charles, what the hell is  _ that?” _ he asks, eyeing whatever it is Charles just put on his plate.

“It’s a peach with cream filling,” Charles said. “It’s an homage to  _ Call Me By Your Name.” _

Jake remembers Charles telling him all about that, and  _ that scene _ in particular, which is why it’s disturbing to watch him bite right into a hollowed out peach that’s been filled to the brim with cream. “Of course it is,” Jake says. He doesn’t know why he’d expected rainbow cupcakes. It’s  _ Charles, _ after all.

“You want one?” Charles asks, holding his out. “They’re really good.”

“Yeah, I’m gonna pass on that,” Jake says. He makes a mental note to grab Amy once the hype around him dies down a little and make a run for a hot dog. But knowing Charles, he’d do something to make even a hot dog uncomfortable.

He can eat when he gets home.

**Author's Note:**

> feel free to visit me on [tumblr](http://xslytherclawx.tumblr.com/)!


End file.
